Wednesday
Sep282005
Pussy Party
Sep 28, 2005
It didn't start out a pussy party. But that's how it ended up. Drinks and conversation were flowing, the men somehow ended up huddled in the living room sipping beer and tossing around sports statistics instead of the football they wished they were throwing. The girls migrated to the kitchen and the drunk bonding began. Before I knew it, I was divulging one of my deepest, darkest secrets. Roast beef. No, not my favorite thing to eat, although it is arguably The Surge's favorite late night snack.
Wait. You're lost. Let me go back. Way back. About three years before the aforementioned Pussy Part, my friend Melissa and I had, for one reason or another, most likely due to her live-in boyfriend at the time, stumbled onto a Playboy magazine in her apartment. Naturally curious, we flipped it open and began thumbing nonchalantly through glossy photos of girls in anything but natural poses. Casually at first, we scrutinized these women, like ourselves, yet completely alien. As we flipped, our interest increased.
Womens' plumbing has about as many styles as Lindsay Lohan has purses. A lot. And I'm not talking about the styling of the er.. um.. the hair, down there. This is the actual equipment I'm referring to.
Maybe this is old news to most men, and some women, but for me it was a 'this just in' newsflash that the burgeoning popularity of the Brazilian bikini wax brought boldly and baldly to the forefront.
As I perused Playboy's pussies I was jolted by a vague memory. About two years prior, back in my college Cosmopolitan reading days, when I really believed "50 Hot New Tricks To Keep Him Coming Back" would really work, I recalled a letter published in the advice column.
The gist of the sought after information was this: the young lady wanted to know if it was normal for her inner lips to be bigger than her outer lips. Huh? By 'inner lip' does she mean the part that rubs against her teeth? Following that train of thought, outer lips must be the portion on which you apply lipstick? Maybe this girl has really big, Angelina Jolie style lips? But is that a problem? Hmmmm..
Flash to the future, our inspection of Playboy. Like a migraine at rush hour, it hit me. She was talking about down there! As I had yet to have an orgasm courtesy of oral sex, I tended to leave 'down there' pretty much to its own devices. This was before I got my wax on so the area in question was generally hidden underneath a small thicket of hair. But looking at these naked vixens, captured by the camera, allowed me a good gander. I realized what inner and outer lips meant, and it had nothing to do with mouths, unless it was the mouth of your significant other.
On many models I could see, what can only be described as inner lips, protruded like tiny tongues, from between the outer lips. Other women, were neatly packaged like a store wrapped Christmas gift. A tightly wrapped BOX, if you will, a pink bow on top, nary an inner lip to be found. These pictures bored me. This was what I had imagined a vulva should look like. Skin, with a line down the middle. A smaller version of a butt, really. It was the other pictures that drew me.
The everything-out-there girls. They had all the usual equipment, but when legs were splayed, delicate inner lips popped out and saluted the camera. Velvet pink rose petals. These must be inner lips. Makes sense. But then there were the roast beef girls. Their goodtimes simultaneously fascinated and repulsed me. The woman, legs spread, with what appeared to be roast beef peeping from outer lips. Mocha colored and wrinkled, this was not something I associated with womens' genitalia.
Melissa and I discussed each picture, each new vulva in great detail. From rose petal to roast beef, pink to coffee and cream colored, our bodies were mysterious packages, waiting to be unwrapped.
"Are you a rose petal or roast beef?" Melissa blurted.
I tilted my head to the side in deep consideration. After nearly a minute ticked by I replied, "You know, I don't know."
Each of us took a turn locking ourselves in the bathroom with Melissa's hand mirror, conducting our own pussy patrol.
"So?" She asked when I emerged, a new woman.
"It's sort of an outie and somewhere in the middle of rose petal and roast beef. It's kind of lopsided, one part sticks out more than the other because one side is rose petalish, the other is roast beefy."
"Hmmm." She carefully considered this new information.
"What about you?" I asked, hoping she was fully roast beef so I could feel better about my own strange situation.
"Outtie, but rose petal." she replied in what I imagined to be smug tones.
Thus began The Roast Beef Years. Years I couldn't orgasm from oral sex. Instead of losing myself in ecstasy I would imagine each valiant man who attempted to break me of my oral orgasm-less state as munching roast beef. Eventually marijuana and liquor helped cure me of the insecurity. Well, the drugs dulled me to the insecurity and helped me in my struggle to achieve an oral orgasm.
So, aided, once again, by my liquor lover, I confessed my roast beef vs. rose petal theory to my girl gang, and the pussy party began. Genuinely intrigued, the girls began to shout out sentences that would sound strange to ears other than ours.
"I'm a rose petal!" Heidi shouted. The boys, across the room, clueless, bellies full of beer ignored us, probably assuming we were discussing floral arrangements for Natalie's impending wedding.
"I'm a total innie.." Jenny whispered.
"Lucky!" I griped.
"Which do boys like?" Holly inquired.
"I would guess innies." Alison responded. "They're so tidy."
"Outie rose petals aren't so bad!" Melissa chimed in.
"I think I'm a roast beef!" another friend moaned. "You know, I'm not sure what I am, I've never looked that close." Sarah said.
Curiosity overcame us and we all trooped upstairs to Natalie's bathroom for the Pussy Party finale. The boys, used to us bathrooming in large groups, barely glanced up as we giggled our way out of the room.
Holly went first. She hiked up her skirt and gave us a peek.
"ROSE PETAL!" We all shouted
"What about me?" Sarah inquired.
"Innie-"
"But it's a bit roast beef, look!" Natalie pointed.
"Oooh.." Sarah moaned in mortification.
"That's how I look!" I shouted and whipped down my pants. I looked up to see Natalie's face screwed up in laughter. The wheezing, shoulders shaking, hiccuping kind that makes everyone nearby laugh even if they don't know whats so funny.
"Is it that bad?" I giggle.
"N-n-noooo!" She howls then points at our reflection in the mirror. "Look at us!"
There we were, seven of us, faces flush from booze and laughter, various stages of undress, in our 'you show me yours, I'll show you mine' poses.
An hour later we were still talking and giggling. Some of us collapsed in a heap on the floor, the toilet and Sarah and Alison were using the tub as a couch.
It took us a moment to hear the boys pounding on the door.
"What IS going on in there!?"
We composed ourselves, smoothed our hair, and one by one emerged from our private pussy party, said our goodbyes, roast beef and rose petal discoveries glistening conpiratorially in our eyes.
"Bye girls!" And so I've learned to be proud of my little bit of roast beef. After all, I'd rather eat roast beef than a rose petal, and The Surge wholeheartedly agrees.
Wait. You're lost. Let me go back. Way back. About three years before the aforementioned Pussy Part, my friend Melissa and I had, for one reason or another, most likely due to her live-in boyfriend at the time, stumbled onto a Playboy magazine in her apartment. Naturally curious, we flipped it open and began thumbing nonchalantly through glossy photos of girls in anything but natural poses. Casually at first, we scrutinized these women, like ourselves, yet completely alien. As we flipped, our interest increased.
Womens' plumbing has about as many styles as Lindsay Lohan has purses. A lot. And I'm not talking about the styling of the er.. um.. the hair, down there. This is the actual equipment I'm referring to.
Maybe this is old news to most men, and some women, but for me it was a 'this just in' newsflash that the burgeoning popularity of the Brazilian bikini wax brought boldly and baldly to the forefront.
As I perused Playboy's pussies I was jolted by a vague memory. About two years prior, back in my college Cosmopolitan reading days, when I really believed "50 Hot New Tricks To Keep Him Coming Back" would really work, I recalled a letter published in the advice column.
The gist of the sought after information was this: the young lady wanted to know if it was normal for her inner lips to be bigger than her outer lips. Huh? By 'inner lip' does she mean the part that rubs against her teeth? Following that train of thought, outer lips must be the portion on which you apply lipstick? Maybe this girl has really big, Angelina Jolie style lips? But is that a problem? Hmmmm..
Flash to the future, our inspection of Playboy. Like a migraine at rush hour, it hit me. She was talking about down there! As I had yet to have an orgasm courtesy of oral sex, I tended to leave 'down there' pretty much to its own devices. This was before I got my wax on so the area in question was generally hidden underneath a small thicket of hair. But looking at these naked vixens, captured by the camera, allowed me a good gander. I realized what inner and outer lips meant, and it had nothing to do with mouths, unless it was the mouth of your significant other.
On many models I could see, what can only be described as inner lips, protruded like tiny tongues, from between the outer lips. Other women, were neatly packaged like a store wrapped Christmas gift. A tightly wrapped BOX, if you will, a pink bow on top, nary an inner lip to be found. These pictures bored me. This was what I had imagined a vulva should look like. Skin, with a line down the middle. A smaller version of a butt, really. It was the other pictures that drew me.
The everything-out-there girls. They had all the usual equipment, but when legs were splayed, delicate inner lips popped out and saluted the camera. Velvet pink rose petals. These must be inner lips. Makes sense. But then there were the roast beef girls. Their goodtimes simultaneously fascinated and repulsed me. The woman, legs spread, with what appeared to be roast beef peeping from outer lips. Mocha colored and wrinkled, this was not something I associated with womens' genitalia.
Melissa and I discussed each picture, each new vulva in great detail. From rose petal to roast beef, pink to coffee and cream colored, our bodies were mysterious packages, waiting to be unwrapped.
"Are you a rose petal or roast beef?" Melissa blurted.
I tilted my head to the side in deep consideration. After nearly a minute ticked by I replied, "You know, I don't know."
Each of us took a turn locking ourselves in the bathroom with Melissa's hand mirror, conducting our own pussy patrol.
"So?" She asked when I emerged, a new woman.
"It's sort of an outie and somewhere in the middle of rose petal and roast beef. It's kind of lopsided, one part sticks out more than the other because one side is rose petalish, the other is roast beefy."
"Hmmm." She carefully considered this new information.
"What about you?" I asked, hoping she was fully roast beef so I could feel better about my own strange situation.
"Outtie, but rose petal." she replied in what I imagined to be smug tones.
Thus began The Roast Beef Years. Years I couldn't orgasm from oral sex. Instead of losing myself in ecstasy I would imagine each valiant man who attempted to break me of my oral orgasm-less state as munching roast beef. Eventually marijuana and liquor helped cure me of the insecurity. Well, the drugs dulled me to the insecurity and helped me in my struggle to achieve an oral orgasm.
So, aided, once again, by my liquor lover, I confessed my roast beef vs. rose petal theory to my girl gang, and the pussy party began. Genuinely intrigued, the girls began to shout out sentences that would sound strange to ears other than ours.
"I'm a rose petal!" Heidi shouted. The boys, across the room, clueless, bellies full of beer ignored us, probably assuming we were discussing floral arrangements for Natalie's impending wedding.
"I'm a total innie.." Jenny whispered.
"Lucky!" I griped.
"Which do boys like?" Holly inquired.
"I would guess innies." Alison responded. "They're so tidy."
"Outie rose petals aren't so bad!" Melissa chimed in.
"I think I'm a roast beef!" another friend moaned. "You know, I'm not sure what I am, I've never looked that close." Sarah said.
Curiosity overcame us and we all trooped upstairs to Natalie's bathroom for the Pussy Party finale. The boys, used to us bathrooming in large groups, barely glanced up as we giggled our way out of the room.
Holly went first. She hiked up her skirt and gave us a peek.
"ROSE PETAL!" We all shouted
"What about me?" Sarah inquired.
"Innie-"
"But it's a bit roast beef, look!" Natalie pointed.
"Oooh.." Sarah moaned in mortification.
"That's how I look!" I shouted and whipped down my pants. I looked up to see Natalie's face screwed up in laughter. The wheezing, shoulders shaking, hiccuping kind that makes everyone nearby laugh even if they don't know whats so funny.
"Is it that bad?" I giggle.
"N-n-noooo!" She howls then points at our reflection in the mirror. "Look at us!"
There we were, seven of us, faces flush from booze and laughter, various stages of undress, in our 'you show me yours, I'll show you mine' poses.
An hour later we were still talking and giggling. Some of us collapsed in a heap on the floor, the toilet and Sarah and Alison were using the tub as a couch.
It took us a moment to hear the boys pounding on the door.
"What IS going on in there!?"
We composed ourselves, smoothed our hair, and one by one emerged from our private pussy party, said our goodbyes, roast beef and rose petal discoveries glistening conpiratorially in our eyes.
"Bye girls!" And so I've learned to be proud of my little bit of roast beef. After all, I'd rather eat roast beef than a rose petal, and The Surge wholeheartedly agrees.
Reader Comments (41)
Hi,
I have a rose outie. I think it is gorgeous. When i was about 14 and i first explored it with my makeup mirror i thought it looked a bit funny for a short period. Then having explored our vaginas with some friends i realized that outies are a whole lot sexier! They are more petite & scream sex!
Women with innies have bigger vaginas & when they are wearing shorts or tights pants you can see that they have a larger gap between their legs. Although an innie may be tider & more beautiful, an outie is more fun, & more petite.
For me, all vaginas are beautiful when the women who they belong to takes care of herself.
Enjoy whatever cute lips it is you have.
Bisexual gal. xxx
P.S. I definitely know Britney Spears is an outie (all the knickerless photos of her with Paris in mens mags) & i think Christina Aguilera might be. Paris is definitely an outie.
Britney is an outie & i think Christina Aguilera. Paris i meant is an INNIE.
Outies are also softer!
I found this in Wikipedia for 'labia'.
The coloration, size and general appearance of the labia can vary extensively from woman to woman. In some women the labia minora are almost non-existent, and in others they can be fleshy and protuberant. It is not uncommon for them to be asymmetrical.
So whatever you have, as long as it is functioning properly, it is completely NORMAL. Just like people have different nose shapes, women have different vagina shapes.
SO keep enjoying it!
All women interested in outies, check out this website:
www.sexylabia.com
The website homepage has the following introduction.
THE IRRESISTIBLE SEX APPEAL OF WOMEN WITH LARGE LABIA
"Do you think my large labia are sexy?" Yelena asked playfully. Her question didn't immediately register with me. My mouth was too busy enjoying the feel of her swollen vulva, which was experiencing little post-orgasmic aftershocks.
"Hey you down there! You think my large pussy lips look sexy?" This time I looked up at her and noticed her teasing eyes. When I tried to speak my tongue felt too tired and numbed from hours of oral indulgence. But I must have been glowing with lust however, because she said: "I know baby, I know you think they're sexy. Now continue please!"
Many are the times that I spend my evening lapping up delicious nectar from her honey pot. Although she is often the one to initiate these love sessions, that hasn't always been the case. When we met a few years ago she wouldn't let me even look at her large labia, never mind letting me go down on her.
At first I couldn't understand her embarrassment. I would ask her and she'd just say she wasn't comfortable with the looks of her pussy. Damn... it was the prettiest and sexiest kitty I had ever seen! How could she think that her labia weren't nice to look at? How could she not see that those were very sexy labia?
FROM LABIA SHAME TO LABIA LOVE
Only a few years ago, in the late nineties, many women felt still very uneasy about the appearance of their vulva. It was probably centuries of sexual oppression and what-not that led them to believe that the vulva has no purpose aside from being the entrance of the vagina. Worse, as a woman you were not supposed to look "down there", and if you did you should feel shame and disgust. Consequently, my girl Yelena and many others thought that the more a vulva was noticeable—like having large inner lips—the less it was desired by men.
But these days things are different. More and more women understand that their vulva is often part of what makes them attractive to their partner. Thanks to self-empowering books about female sexuality by people like Carol Queen, Betty Dodson, Annie Sprinkle and others, women finally understand that not only is it all right for themselves to look "down there", it is a must! They realize that this fleshy outward structure is so much more than just "the outside of the vagina". In effect, a vulva is almost like an organ itself.
Together with women's growing confidence and love for their vulva and labia comes also a greater interest in the subject by men. Sure, men have instinctually enjoyed labia minora all along, they just never thought that much of them. Whereas most guys used to be indifferent or ignorant about the appearance of the outer female genitals, they are now aware how they're attracted, mesmerized, even awestruck by the various shapes and sometimes large sizes of vulvas and labia minora. In other words, instead of just enjoying the labia, they now love them.
Best of all, it seems that this labia love is not just some temporary fad but rather a lasting awareness that a well-defined vulva with prominent labia minora contributes to a woman's femininity".
Been married several times. They varied but they all tasted fab when washed and after fucking they smelled awesome. As you can tell I love the taste, girls.
Well I looked at mine and it freaked me out. It was a sausage. Who knew?
Hello there! Im only 17 and I am having trouble dealing with my "beef lips"...not only are they not very "sexy" to me...I find them uncomfortable. I ride horses and it is shameful to me to have to wear a maxi-pad everytime I ride just to prevent myself from a chapped crotch! Also sitting down for a long time, cross legged is not a fun adventure I'd like to share! My labia minora are pink and even, but they just hang out! My boyfriend calls them sexy but I am not convinced. I am really interested in the surgery. But it really is an embarrassing topic!
You shouldn't be embarrassed.. More people than you know get that surgery. The only people that really need to know about it are you and your doctor (and your Mom, since you're underrage) I hear its a relatively simple procedure.. and if your "beef lips" actually get in the way of certain things or make you uncomfortable you should do it...
"P.S. I definitely know Britney Spears is an outie (all the knickerless photos of her with Paris in mens mags) & i think Christina Aguilera might be. Paris is definitely an outie."
you're an idiot. there have been pics and videos of all of them and they all have innies. also, having an outtie is gross. it bulges in pants.
Outies are my favorite! So much more to do while giving oral sex. I love to put my lips around her meaty lips and gently pull, spread them with my fingers....
I'm of Asian ethnicity, and I am only fifteen. I have a 'rost beef' vagina, and I was googling the term to see if I was alone, but I guess, most people have those nice innie rose petals.
How old do you need to be to get the surgery, because my lips show when I wear bathing suits. ):
i'm seventeen like nicole, and since i was about 12 i've been ashamed of 'down there.' when i was 15 i wanted to get the surgery, but i was too shy to talk to my mom about the situation, and my best friend talked me out of it. since then, i've accepted my rose outtie. except it is very out. like, 2 inches. anywyas, i'm embarrased about my boyfirend seeing it, and we've been dating a while but i'm afraid he'll think i'm weird. So to all you more experienced ladies, should i tell him what's up before he sees/feels it, or should i just let him figure it out himself?
also, jana, i think you should wait to see if you want the surgery. a few years ago i would have killed for it, but now i'm fine. don't rush into a decision.
I'm not really sure how I came upon this sight. I found the story of the ladies to be quite interesting and rather funny. To picture in my mind all these lovely women rushing upstairs to look at each other pussies to critque and give support for one another.
As a man I must say that I have seen very few ugly pussies. Yes they are out there but I think that they are few and rare. Wether it have been small or large, outtie or innie, roast beef or rose petal I have made love and loved licking many different kinds. Discovering what type of pussy your lover has for the first time is exciting and if you are attracted to and/or love the woman it matters not what kind of pussy she has.
My advice for the girls and women who maybe ashamed or embarassed of how they look is to not be. Because there is a man or many men (or woman) who may be absolutely ga ga over how you look. I would not suggest having surgery to make your puss small so it can look like you think it should. It looks the way it does because it is supposed to. And just think if you had surgery and lost sensation in your pussy because of it. How devistated would you be if you could not derive any feeling during sex with your partner.
Bottom line is men and women love the many different looks of women. Wether they are athletic, slim, voluptous, black, white, yellow, blonde, brunte, red head, short, tall, small or large breasts, roast beef or rose petal. You are all a unique flowers waiting to be explored by a man or woman who finds you attractive and loves you for you.
I hope this helps you to find confidence in yourself.
Signed
A man who is a lover of women
I'm 17 and I hate having a dark wrinkly outtie. I cry sometimes because I think I look like a freak. I called my boyfriend and asked him if he thought my body was weird. He said that theres nothing wrong with me and that I am perfect/amazing/sexy blah blah blah... but I am so not convinced :(
I want to get surgery since it causes other problems like it hurts to wear tight pants and it's visible with tight underwear. I've heard that it's not only done for cosmetic purposes and you can be covered by your insurance as a "reconstructive" surgery. I hope I will be covered and be able to get this procedure done... I want a pretty pussy!
!!!!I LIKE ALL OF YOUR PUSSIES!!!!
im all about the innies if i get a roast beefer it kinda turns me off but ill still fuck it i use to think if it was a roast beef it was because the girl has been fucked to many times but now i know that theres different kinds but i still like INNIES!!!
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